do you have someone like this in your life?
ok...so...i have this person in my life who is not a believer...or at least they aren't a follower. i know i am to witness to this person...but every time i do, they fight with me...ok, they question me and i get so mad that i can't even talk to them. then we end up arguing and they are like, 'you're supposed to be kind. you're going to hell cuz you can't keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect to be forgiven'. meaning not being nice and so on and so forth. so then i get even MORE mad and it becomes this HUGE fight and i say things i KNOW i shouldn't say. it's like they antagonize me on purpose. and i end up acting like i know i shouldn't.
anyone else have someone in their life like this? if so, what do you do?
help!! i want to figure out how to stop this!! yes, not associating with this person would work...but it's not possible. associating with them less is possible. i pray and i pray and i pray...and it still happens. any specific scripture references would be great!
anyone else have someone in their life like this? if so, what do you do?
help!! i want to figure out how to stop this!! yes, not associating with this person would work...but it's not possible. associating with them less is possible. i pray and i pray and i pray...and it still happens. any specific scripture references would be great!
posted by Stephanie @ 3/11/2006 08:05:00 AM
2 Comments:
At 11:20 AM,
georgia said…
Choose your battles carefully. It sounds like this person knows how to push your buttons and manipulate you onto the defensive.
If it's something that you feel is of major importance and you must speak up, then say what you feel is needed and then refuse to get drawn into an argument where you have to justify yourself. That's setting appropriate boundaries for the relationship. You might even say, "Let me get back to you on this" if you want more time to think about a response, and then when you've got your thoughts together, write them out to explain yourself instead of trying a conversation that is guaranteed to degenerate into an argument.
You could also consider asking your T if you could do some work on dealing with these situations. Give her an example of what happened and process with her on how you could have responded differently with firmness so that you weren't manipulated. This could help you develop better skills in the future to handle situations of these types.
But if it's not critical to say something, I'd suggest ignoring it and just continue to pray and set an example. Sometimes the Holy Spirit can speak far more loudly and clearly than us, and we can just sit back and watch Him work.
At 5:12 PM,
Jeni said…
I agree with Georgia. And I actually did have a friend like this once. I was friends with her before I became a Christian, and then when I did, I of course began to change, and I made new friends. She actually considered herself a Christian because she went to church every week, but in her life, she just didn't follow Christ. Many times she would ask me about the things that I had started to practice, such as serving others, and speaking out against racist comments and such, and it always ended up in an argument. And I always came out looking just as bad as she did, only in my case it was in the name of Jesus. This was bad, and I knew it was bad, so I started to just avoid talking about these things with her. And because I couldn't talk to her about the most important things in my life, we eventually grew apart and stopped talking. I grieved a bit over the loss of the friendship, but realized that the person that I was with her was not the person Christ wanted me to be. After two years of not talking, she instant messaged me, and we started talking again. She is still not living like a follower of Christ, but she now is open to hearing that. She is slowly trying to change and asking for help in those areas that she needs to change. The moral of the story is that when it is God's time, this person in your life will begin to grow softer. But you have to be willing to let it happen in God's time.
I hope that this is helpful to you! :)
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